strike a match, go on and do it [Mrs Snape] (autumn_shadows) wrote in random_shit,
strike a match, go on and do it [Mrs Snape]

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I'm sick of everything.

Woke up late and scurried to work. Betty calls about five minutes after I get there to ask if I wanna go see Signs. How'd she get the work number? No idea. But Gaye talked to Marie first, who then repeated everything to Mom, so I didn't even have to beg to go, which was a good thing, and yeah... anyway, half hour later they pick me up.

Last time I went to the movies, I got this really weird feeling that Emily and Marshall would be there (Emily is my ex-best friend and Marshall... well. Let's just say that once upon a time Marshall asked me out, technically, and Emily had a problem with that because she liked him.. and, well, you can assume the rest.)... well, they weren't. I got that feeling today, too, and I said "Melissa, you're insane, they're not here."... we leave the theatre, and who's standing at the door? Emily. I swear to God, I think she was waiting for me. There had been a Red Dragon trailer and me and Betty were screaming. Er, it was more of me hyperventilating and her trying to calm me down. Who else would scream out "DADDY!!!" when Hannibal Lecter comes on the screen besides me? So the bitch must have known. I didn't even say hi to her, I just stared... I was far too much in shock and not really registering it all... and when she said she was with Marshall... oh my fucking god, I thought I could just pull out a gun and shoot the place to itty bitty pieces. So I pulled over Bonnie and Betty to have a quick meeting, lol, and yeah... well. That just made my day oh-so-cheery. And they were with her MOM. What the fuck? Ok, well, they can have each other... they can go off and fuck and have deformed children and THEN get married in a relationship with no money because they're both DUMBFUCKS who will never get a job (Um, he's an 18 year old senior and she's a 14 year old in special ed. So whatever) and then they can take her mom on their honeymoon with them, just like Nick and Dorothy. FUCK IT.

Get back to Betty's and, just, Grr. At least she listened to me today and she understood, she usually doesn't do that. But I'm glad she did. I was supposed to spend the night, but her dad decided not to let me since I'm an insomniac. I wasn't going to say anything, because it's not Betty's fault and I don't want her to feel bad, but it's like... gee, thanks. That's like saying "You have diabeties... ew, get out!" *sigh*

Then I had to deal with Bonnie and wanting to learn "All You Wanted" on guitar. If she can't like the song until it's popular, then I'm sorry, I'm not going to be the one to support her with it. So I also had to give a lecture to Bonnie, which I feel bad about because I like Bonnie, and just... BAH!

Get home. Wanna play piano. Mom and Dad and Bradley are watching TV in the family room (the room next door to the living room, where the pianos are)... we only have 10 fucking TVs, but NO. We have to watch it right beside the room where the only pianos in the house are. And I'm not playing the keyboard, it sounds like crap and it's hard to set up. And the basement is dirty anyway. Grr. Just grr. So Mom told me to go upstairs and play guitar, but you know what? I'm not in the fucking mood to play guitar, I want to work on Aria da capo on MY PIANO. But whatever, fuck that too.

Get upstairs, first to IM in Jenni who has computer back, yay. Next comes Cassie. I tell them both I've had a bad day. Do either of them ask why? No. And then Cassie goes as far as to say when I do yell at her that I would have said "Nothing" anyway. She asked me to change, so I was trying to and I was gonna tell her. This would have been the first oppertunity I could have to change, but she just wasted it. But ok. Whatever. Sarah proceeds on, doesn't ask either. Ami listened to me vent, but I didn't tell her about my day, and Kristen had to go in the middle of it... so fun. Finally, at 6 AM, a girl I met about three days ago online who I really don't even know... she decided to listen to me. Yeah, more than my best friend and my other close friends. Gee.

And I posted how I felt about Avril in a community and now I'm getting a bunch of flames, as I much expected. Well, you know fucking what? I pretty much hate Avril by this point. I'm on Avril-overdrive and I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. And if that's the way music is going to get distorted - where real music ends up in the hands of preps - then I'm starting to wonder if I really wanna be a musician. Apartently, I have a lot of talent, and I know I'm deep... I would never write a song like Complicated... but, gah. If preps listened to me, I think I'd throw everything out the window and walk away from it all. I NEVER EVER want someone who cannot relate to my music to listen to it... and, trust me, preps can't relate to what I have to say. And now I'm left to wonder whether it's my subconscience being scared and telling me not to do it, or if it is indeed this gut feeling inside of me telling me that being a musician would NOT make me happy.

Why am I posting this in here? Because my LJ friends won't care. Lol, it's all my LJ friends in this community anyway, but they're probably more likely to read this than half of the others. And I don't feel like sharing it with them.

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