Public Remand (bunnyreaper) wrote in random_shit,
Public Remand

Stripy suit

Act 3 Scenes 1

Narrator: Sock puppets as we know are as evil as four tiny Frenchmen who try to eat the small moons of the planet Noop…Or are they? We question some…

(Cuts to alley way)

Sock puppet1: We live each day in fear!

Sock puppet2: When you see the torture we put up with each day you can see why our kind is forced to go out into the world and steal those princess’ and attack those innocent spectators…You should hear those insults those grannies and toddlers throw at us…

(Cuts to footage of sock puppet being mauled by granny and toddler)

Sock puppet3: Yeah, they just come up to you and blatantly point out how we have buttons for eyes! And how we are socks! It’s unfair!

Presenter: Now the main problem for the sock puppet community is that it feels it needs to prove itself! With the succession of there “Muppet” Cousins they feel that they can either succeed in the puppet industry or not live at all! And with four million sock puppet suicides a second we have to see what precautions are being taken to stop this from happening… I talk to one of the workers at sock puppet helpline…

(Cuts to telecom system)

Presenter: Now here we have one of the senior members of the team, now Mr Smiley face what would you say to a sock puppet who phoned up?


Presenter: Ok…

Smiley face: YOU DIE NOW!!!!1!!!

(Smiley face shoots laser beams out of its eyes)

(Presenter explodes)

(Cuts to airport)

Everyone: So we are here… where is the salsa?

All: There is no salsa

Gomp2: Then what are we going to do with these Doritos?

All: Shoot them!


Fly monkey1: We are the fly monkey’s… We are small and smart!

Fly monkey2: We fly around!

Fly monkey3: We eat your hair!

(Dramatic music)

(Screen changes into Final Fantasy random battle scene)

Droning voice: Prepare for battle!

All: WTF? What’s happening?

(Fly monkeys attack and steal the characters hair)

Ominous voice: You lose!

(Dramatic music)

Fly monkey1: We go now! HAHAHAHAHA!

(Cuts to port)

(Narrator + Hand enter at left hand side)

(Narrator looks around)

Narrator: Meanwhile at some form of port type place in Frence…

C.D.Dinosaur: Hmm…Looks like fish…Smells like fish…Tastes like fish…sounds like fish…IT MUST BE CUM!

Piñata: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I! Will! Now! Eat! You! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

C.D.Dinosaur: Great!

Narrator: Now are you sure the note says to go to the port?

Hand: Yes…Sure…Why not?

Piñata: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Prepare! To! Die! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

C.D.Dinosaur: You go girl!

Rotarran: Brother are you there?

Narrator: Didn’t I eat you?

Rotarran: No I escaped in a truck.

Narrator: Really?

Rotarran: No I saw you eat Harry, so I prayed to the god toilet cream and offered him my arms for safety. After I ate them he sent me into a dimension rift where I was rescued by travelling tomato salesman who took me into her care after a brief liaison with her daughter rover I was sucked into a dimension rift where I wrote a letter… and here I am…

Piñata: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I! Am! Now! Going! To! Advance! Very! Slowly! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Rotarran: Hug!

(Rotarran jumps in the general direction of Narrator)

(Piñata is swallowed by Rotarran)

C.D.Dinosaur: Time to fish!

(C.D.Dinosaur explodes)

(Cuts to church)

Preacher: Toilet cream is our saviour, with it we cleanse ourselves from being the little shits we were created to be! For when Satan excreted our race from his bowels! It is the toilet cream that helped us become pure! To make sure that we do not rot as quickly as we should!

Mass crowd3: Yay!

Preacher: But, my friends we have amongst ourselves some un-believers!

Mass crowd3: Boo!

Preacher: Bring them forward!

(French doctor is pushed forward)

French doctor: Stop it! Stop it! Do you know who I am?

Preacher: No!

French doctor: I am Dr Monroe!

French doctor2: No your not!

French doctor: Just because I do not have the piece of paper that say’s I am a doctor does not mean I am not Dr Monroe!

French doctor2: Yes it does!

(French doctor slaps French doctor2)

French doctor: No it does not!

(French doctor2 slaps French doctor)

French doctor2: If you are “Dr Monroe” shoot yourself!

French doctor: Ok! I will!

French doctor2: Where will you shoot yourself?

French doctor: In my left thigh!

French doctor2: Ok do it!

(French doctor picks up gun)


French doctor: I missed!

Preacher: Ow!

Narrator: Meanwhile in a secretly secret lair filled to the brim with secret stuff that’s really secret…

Rotarran: Ahh home… Now to plot evil deeds!

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